My Daytime Shooting Star
by redandwhitemushroom
Summary: Does Suzume really want to find her daytime shooting star? Or is it just what she thinks she wants? The answer was right before her the whole time. She only needed to open her eyes.


A/N: This is my first ever piece of fanfiction, so please go easy on the comments :D Hope you (kind of) like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Daytime Shooting Star or anything related to it :D

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_'Why is my life such a wreck?'_

This question has been my only companion after my first day of school in Tokyo. I don't know what I've done to deserve this. I don't know why life is treating me thus unjustly. I don't know why Sensei confuses me…

_'Why do you confuse me, Sensei?'_

Living in Tokyo has always been my dream, so I decided that I would certainly make the most out of this opportunity to live with Yukichi-ojisan. Well, in the beginning, I wasn't so thrilled with the idea of my parents dumping me with Ojisan while they were off to Bangladesh, but I had to stay with him nonetheless. He's a very kind person, though he comes off as a bit peculiar. I mean he cooks delicious meals for me, of which I am grateful for, as I probably would've poisoned myself with my own cooking. But sometimes, he does weird things, like choosing my pyjamas and takes great joy in doing so. He dotes on me as a mother would and although I don't show it, I'm really happy that he cares about me so much. He's an awesome uncle.

However, my school life is filled with drama.

Not only my school life, what am I saying? My life in general is full of drama.

Upon my arrival at Tokyo, I met my Rubik's Cube of a sensei. At that time, of course, I had no idea that he was to be my homeroom teacher. Therefore, my 'awesome' little mind thought that it was a good idea to develop a crush on him because he's kind and easy-going and he makes me feel safe and he's handsome and a tad bit quirky and his smile…_his smile_… It's bright and dazzly but holds a hint of bashfulness to it. Sometimes, when I focus a little more on it, a find a ghost of a smirk. His smile makes me all warm and fuzzy, like a blanket that holds me close to him. _Yeah, so close…_

_'He was so close to me, only a mere two-centimetre distance between us…'_

He almost, I mean we almost…_kissed_. The memory of it is so vivid that I can feel my face heat up. I remember how hard my heart thumped, it was threatening to jump out of my chest, the distinct ba-dump sound was roaring in my ears. My mind suddenly went blank and I lost all of my strength to move. I could only brace myself for the impact of his lips on mine. _3…2…1…nothing…_ Teal orbs met emerald ones. I could see it clearly in him. All of his doubts, his wants and his _reservations_ flickered in the different shades of green in his eyes. I guess, the eyes are really windows to one's soul. The kiss never happened but I never thought in my wildest imagination that he would ever have the same feelings for me.

_'Does he?'_

No. He couldn't have. He left me there on New Year's. You **never **ditch the girl you have feelings for on your date. Sensei is such a confusing man. One minute he's not reciprocating my feelings and the next, he's fully intending to kiss me.

_'Why can't I seem to forget him?'_

Luckily, Mamura was there to keep me company after Yuyuka and the gang left me behind. _Mamura_. I feel so much more comfortable around him than with Sensei. I don't know why, but it seems as though he knows what's always on my mind. Just like the time when my emotions decided to jump off a cliff because of Sensei, Mamura was there and he wanted me to pretend to be his girlfriend to get rid of his fangirls. I am a perfectly functioning female with hormones produced in all the right places, so of course I'm not blind towards the fact that Mamura is—ahem—handsome but Sensei has just always been stuck in my mind, as if he belongs there or something. I know that Mamura's proposition wasn't just to protect him, instead I feel like he deliberately arranged this, so that he could take my mind off Sensei.

_'Am I lost on the path of life?'_

I still vividly remember the day when I got lost on the way home from school. I was still just a child, unlike the teenager I am now and the Sun was up in the sky, the wind was gently blowing and the fragrance of flowers could be caught in the air. I was completely lost that day, on my way home. I really thought that it was my demise. It seriously could have been the end of me. I could have just wandered to some random direction and get run over by a gigantic truck. Or, a shady guy lurking in the middle of a field could kill me because after all, I live in the countryside. Better off, I could have been kidnapped by an organization and get sold to one of those child slavery rings. Yes, lots of things could have happened but none of them did. Instead, I looked up at the sky, gazing at the mesmerizingly azure hues with a few streaks of orange adorning it. Suddenly, there was a white flash and it wasn't lightning. Without processing my actions, I immediately began walking in the direction of the white light whilst throwing caution in the wind. Before I knew it, my feet stopped, as if having its own mind. I peered cautiously at my surroundings, drinking in the sight that met me. _Home_. My sanctuary.

_'Where is my daytime shooting star now?'_

When I first moved to Tokyo, I remember that Sensei was there to pick me up from the station. He was wearing those glasses of his with gigantic frames and his hair was unruly. As soon as he started talking to him, I figured that he was some sort of weird stalker who could tell by my country accent that I wasn't from Tokyo. He scared the living daylights out of me because firstly, I had enough stress from memories of my friends in the countryside; secondly, I had to cope up with the entirely new environment, even though I was obviously still in the same country; thirdly, I cannot muster the time or the energy to get rid of a creep—a good looking one at that. He was supposedly my escort to my new home, Yukichi-ojisan's home. Little did I know…

_'Should I have known better?'_

This might sound like an excuse, but I had a good reason to like Sensei. When I was first introduced to Sensei, I only knew him to be a regular customer at Yukichi-ojisan's restaurant and that they were both good friends. I swear that I never thought, in my wildest imagination, that he would've been my teacher. I mean, look at him! He looks like he's supposed to be still in university or something with boyish features adorning his face. Usually, when you think of teachers, you associate middle-aged people with round-rimmed glasses, right? But no, a twenty-odd something man who looks like he's fresh out of college just happens to be my sensei. Technically, since I had no previous knowledge of the fact that he's a teacher, let alone mine, I am not the only one at fault here. He should also have warned me beforehand.

_'Or did I willingly fall into his trap?'_

After the first few days of school, I've learnt a few things about Sensei. First off, he's popular with the students. Secondly, he is extremely popular with the female students. Why, you may ask? Well, I don't know. Maybe because he's handsome and looks mature without appearing to be too old? Other than that, he just happens to be a very understanding sensei, who helps his students out whenever they need it. Which reminds me of the time when he kept me behind after school because I kept on practically failing all the tests he gave me. I honestly thought that he was trying to express his interest towards me. Now that I think of it, which was an absolutely ridiculous train of thought. Good thing I didn't blurt it aloud, at least I managed to save myself from complete embarrassment, not to mention the little dignity I have left. I wouldn't fancy being laughed at for the rest of the three years in high school, that would be disastrous. Just because I don't show much of my emotions on my face, doesn't mean that I don't have them at all.

_'Does anybody understand me at all?'_

My parents certainly don't. They just dumped me at my Yukichi-ojisan's place as if I were some sort of discarded toy, which they grew tired of playing. Yukichi-ojisan does genuinely care about me, but he doesn't really know what's going on in my head half of the time. Up till now, the only person who can read me like an open book is Mamura. Well, it can be unnerving at times; I mean his eyes are so intensely focused on my face and it can get a bit uncomfortable. However, the rest of the time he does that, he makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the world. It's like he's only focused on me and won't give a care to the world, even if the apocalypse has dawned upon us. He always knows what's wrong with me, always knows what makes me tick, he basically knows my every single nook and cranny.

_'Are the skies of Tokyo thus polluted?'_

They seem to be…I cannot see the stars at night, not to mention my daytime shooting star. Memories of seeing that daytime shooting star never cease to lull me into a state of peace and tranquility. Speaking of which, yes, Mamura gives me what I need—this sense of peace and tranquility. I, as selfish as always, just take what isn't mine. Oh how characteristic of me to never think of a way to return him the favour. Ever since I've moved to Tokyo, I've been beginning to realize my inadequacy in many aspects. Without the presence of my parents or the false security my old classmates have provided me with, I've come to the revelation that I've been spending the majority of my time waiting for shooting stars to appear during the day, which is what occupies most of my time. I'm aware of the fact that I don't exactly have the best grades; the marks aren't quite as competitive in the countryside. But what's worse is that I have no sense of direction over my life. All my life, I've been relying too much on others. But now, I know what I want.

_'Are you the brightest of the all?'_

I want to know where my daytime shooting star and Sun is. If I still haven't been blinded by their luminosity, I should be able to see who they are. The shooting star only appears as and when it wants to, its occurrence is rare yet beautiful. The Sun is constant but its light is what illuminates the Earth during the day. They are both beautiful in their own ways, but the Sun envelopes me in its warmth and makes me feel as if I'm at home with my parents again in the countryside, where my life was still simple and lots of people care about me.

_'Am I blind?'_

There's something nagging me at the back of my brain and it's telling me that perhaps, Sensei is my daytime shooting star and Mamura is my Sun. If it were not for Sensei, I wouldn't have the courage to make friends. I would still be sulking alone somewhere on the school's rooftop. Sensei always gave me the encouragement that I needed to improve at school. He boosts my confidence level. Since I'm surer about my abilities now, I think that Sensei is pulling me down. He was the one who destroyed a big piece of my heart. He is only healthy in small doses. His appearance is always welcome but a glimpse of him is enough. But I don't mind being with Mamura all the time. He might seem to be awkward around girls but he isn't awkward around me. He makes me comfortable and I know that he cares about me more than anybody else in Tokyo. There's always this thick layer of emotional warmth around him, of which I can do nothing but rely on. He doesn't mind it, well not that I know of. Whenever I think of him, there's always this pleasant fuzzy feeling in my stomach.

_'What is this feeling?'_

I think I've got to keep my emotions under check. When Mamura and I were 'pretending' to be boyfriend and girlfriend, I felt kind of happy whenever he made affectionate gestures towards me in front of those fangirls. But I felt a tinge bit hollow inside because I knew that we weren't really together in that way. A part of me wants our relationship to not be 'pretend' but I don't know how to tell him that I want to have this with him. I want to share moments with him that I used to want to share with Sensei. I want us to be happy together. I know that Mamura is being a perfect gentleman and is giving me plenty of time to consider his feelings for me and vice versa. He's constantly there to make me feel better when I need it. He's always a shoulder to cry on. He's basically there when I need him but he gives me enough space and doesn't suffocate me. He respects me and doesn't comment much because he knows that it doesn't concern him.

_'Who knows, I've been chasing after the wrong thing all along.'_

Because all I've ever needed was the Sun.

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A/N: So...erm...how was it? *laughing nervously*

To my real life friends (you know who you are): DO NOT USE THIS TO BLACKMAIL OR LAUGH AT ME


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